
photo by Ali Hamad/APA
When the genocide began I started writing daily notes. The notes, many of them handwritten in various notebooks, were disconnected lines, images, stories I’d read or heard. Some of them evolved into poems, included in this collection; but it wasn’t until Day 167 that — having heard about a mother who was able to save one of her children but not the others, and a doctor who was saving the amputated limbs of wounded children, putting the limbs into boxes labeled with their names — I felt the urgency to document these tragedies in a whole poem every day, and that is what I will do until the genocide ends.
I intend to keep writing until the ceasefire is permanent — until Palestine is free.
Day 652
The house is destroyed, those
who lived in it are buried
under collapsed walls. Rescue workers
have given up on finding
anyone alive. There
were four: a father, a mother,
a girl of sixteen and her year-old
sister. Four days
since the bombing. The dust
has settled, the house
is in ruins. Suddenly
the sixteen-year-old girl
walks out of the rubble:
eyes bleeding, face bruised,
injuries to her head.
She doesn’t realize
she’s alive. She doesn’t know
everyone else has been killed.
Where is her tiny sister? Her
mother? She walks, as though
in a sleep, to her aunt’s house
next door. Finds it empty.
Finds some water
to wash her face. Is she
living? Is everyone else
dead? She wanders, stumbling,
staggering. At last someone
recognizes her, takes her
to her uncle. He holds her
hand. Speaks to her
gently. She’s speechless, numb.
A ghost. Not certain
how she survived. Not
certain if she survived.
Day 651
This baby was found
trapped under the rubble.
No one else in her household
survived. The young woman
they found — could she
have been her mother? One
of the men, her father? Were there
grandparents? Uncles? Did she
have sisters? Brothers? The children’s
bodies so shattered it was hard
to tell who these legs
belonged to, these hands. But
the baby — six months old,
seven? She was whole.
uninjured. Hungry and terrified
but intact. She cried. She looked up
into the arms of the medical rescuer.
Where will he take her now?
No name no certain age no address.
Someone will care for her,
but who? What story
will she never tell?
Day 650
There were boulevards here.
They were lined with trees.
There were restaurants, cafés.
There were colorful flowers in pots
outside the buildings.
There were children playing
near tables where parents
ate, spoke with friends. There
were schools. There were playgrounds.
There were people who danced.
There were songs about love,
about longing. There were fragrances
of spices being used in cooking.
You could smell them as you walked
on the streets, smell them
through the day, mixed
with the fragrance of jasmine,
the fragrance of salt from the sea.
There was life here, there was
health and sickness, youth and age.
There were voices blending
with other voices. Can you
remember this? Can you engrave this
in your mind, your heart, your eyes?
Can you remember beyond
this depraved stench, this poisoned air,
this continuous undertone of loss?
Day 649
The child was born healthy
three years ago, chubby baby
nursed by her mother. Her mother, too,
healthy. Strong. Vibrant. Now
they live in a makeshift tent
whose sides have been battered
by rain, unrelenting heat. Now her mother
has lost four older children. Now her father
has been gone for a year, missing
somewhere under the rubble. Now the child weighs
what she weighed at thirteen months, her legs so thin and weak
she can barely walk. Her mother picks her up
when she cries at night
and is stunned each time
by her lightness. Her near
Inexistence. It seems,
as the days go by without food or respite,
that her child is becoming a petal,
the wing of a moth, a scrap of paper
blown by the wind.
Day 648
From a photograph
A mother is sitting
with her two daughters. One
is maybe six or seven months,
The other probably two. All three
are dressed in fancy clothing.
The children in little flowered dresses,
the mother elegant:
her head scarf possibly silk, her long dress
falling in silken cascades to the floor.
They are sitting on some kind
of hooplike swing. It’s wound
with flowers, branches of lilac, wisteria.
Was this photograph taken
before the genocide began? Was it
taken since? Maybe months ago, in spring?
There’s no way to know.
Nor do we know
what they were celebrating. A birthday? A wedding?
What we know is that
they are gone. All three of them,
gone. Gone in a bombing? Shot dead
by snipers? What we know is that
these daughters will not grow, will not
wear any more flowered dresses,
will not celebrate anyone’s birthday.
What we know
is that their mother, proudly
holding their hands, has gone down
with them into death. Will not
touch their small bodies again,
nor sit with them again on any swing.
What we know is that they have gone, all three,
despite what must have been
their happiness that day —
beyond their fear. Beyond their joy.
Day 647
The children are lining up
with their parents
to get water. July. Nuseirat.
It’s hot, they’re thirsty, the water
they have is contaminated. The children
are standing in line
in their sundresses, their cotton shorts.
They’re too hot and thirsty to talk,
but one of them pushes another
whimsically, just a little, and suddenly
they’re playing, laughing.
Then the shots come. Then
the child who pushed
is lying on the ground.
Then he is bleeding out
through his nose, his mouth, his ears.
Then his mother is kneeling
beside him, shouting his name,
shouting for help. Then a man
who had just managed
to fill his bucket with water
pours all the water
tenderly onto the child
to wash away the blood.
To cool him as he dies.
Day 646
Doctors Against Genocide
Al Shifa
They are rebuilding the bombed
hospital: the destroyed
machinery, the wrecked ER.
They are building a field hospital
on its grounds: tents
for examining rooms, tents
for patients who need to stay,
tents for staff. A surgery tent.
They’re collecting instruments,
iv lines. They’re repairing
damaged beds, damaged wheelchairs.
They know their field hospital
could be bombed again. They know
there are those who tell them
it’s futile, impossible, doomed.
Why set up these tents
with walkways between them?
Why set down benches for weary
nurses and doctors? Visitors? Why
plant these trees? The doctor
who tells you about this
nods. Smiles. He’ll return
to the market for nylon. Canvas.
That what they rebuild
may be useful. Durable.
That the sturdiness they’ve grown
for years be sufficient
to serve them. Thay they never
accept defeat. That they not be defeated.
Day 645
They lie, dead, next to each other
on the linoleum floor
of the clinic, a boy and a girl
maybe two years old? Three?
Were they twins? Siblings?
Cousins? Did they know one another
at all? Someone that morning
dressed the boy in jeans, a green
t-shirt. The girl in white lacy panties,
a flowered dress. Someone
tied her pink shoes, someone
helped the boy
with the metal button
of his jeans. All
stained with blood
now, drying blood.
Were they playing together
when the bomb struck? Near them
a woman bends over the body
of an older boy, lying still, his eyes
half open. Is he alive? Is she
pleading desperately
for someone to save
him? Is she the mother
of all three of them
and the boy sitting a little apart,
his body seemingly whole,
a blank, startled look
on his dirt-splattered face?
Day 644
The school they were sheltering in
has gone up in flames. Tell me,
who could escape it? Not
the pregnant mother
with her toddler son. Not
the father who’d already buried
his wife and five children, every
loss slowing his steps. Not
the elderly poet, the builder
whose legs had been rendered
useless, the friends
who wrapped their arms
tenderly around each other's
waists and waited, waited. Lay
waiting together as flames
raced toward them. Who
could escape the roar, the pulsing,
the screams? The horrified eyes?
School that had held children’s
singing, now a ruined
cradle. Crucible. Urn.
Day 643
from a photograph
The child sits on the floor
in a bare room. Her right thigh
is bandaged. From an earlier
wound? From today? No one,
for now, seems to be with her.
She stares blankly
at the photographer. She has been
at a clinic. She’d gone there
with her mother. She’d gone
because one of them — both
of them? — needed help;
and what happened instead
was a bombing. Ten children
martyred. She had been talking
with some of them while
they were waiting. She’d
been standing so close.
No one noticed
the planes approaching, no one
heard them until it was
too late. The girl
she’s been talking to
lay dead on the ground.
The boys who had gathered
around them were also dead,
three of them. She sits
on the tile floor, trying
to make herself remember
what their names were,
where they said they were from.