photo by Ali Hamad/APA
When the genocide began I started writing daily notes. The notes, many of them handwritten in various notebooks, were disconnected lines, images, stories I’d read or heard. Some of them evolved into poems, included in this collection; but it wasn’t until Day 167 that — having heard about a mother who was able to save one of her children but not the others, and a doctor who was saving the amputated limbs of wounded children, putting the limbs into boxes labeled with their names — I felt the urgency to document these tragedies in a whole poem every day, and that is what I will do until the genocide ends.
I intend to keep writing until the ceasefire is permanent — until Palestine is free.
Day 687
The children are playing
outside their tents
with a parachute
fallen from the sky, a dead
parachute, a collapsed parachute,
a parachute that has failed
in its cruel mission. A parachute
that carried from the sky
rotten food, a parachute
that — had it dropped its moldy cargo
on these children —
would have killed them.
They’re playing with it
as if it were a kite,
a jump rope, some costume
to wrap around their bodies.
A cloak of defiance: Look,
their game calls out to the Oppressor:
This parachute you pretended to give us food
when your intent was to murder us
we have made into a toy! Your weapon
is our plaything now. We
laugh at your viciousness. This,
today, is our resistance.
Day 686
Only months ago
her mother buried
her younger sister,
dead from starvation.
Two-and-a-half. Now
this five-year-old
lies on a cot, barely
moving. Barely breathing.
When her eyes are closed
for too long, her mother
shakes her awake, to make sure
she’s not dead. The child is
so thin her arms are twigs
that hang from the naked
branches of her shoulders. I’m
so afraid, the mother
is saying, that I’ll lose this one
like I lost the other. She
straightens the blanket a little
around her daughter, even though
it’s August. Even though
it’s hot. Hunger, she knows,
chills the body; and this,
at least — in the merciless
absence of food —
is something she can do.
Day 685
How can a ten-month-old child
be protected against a thousand ton bomb
by a flimsy tent? A tent
worn thin after months of use.
A tent cobbled together from bits
of old clothes, clothes
outgrown, clothes that belonged
to those who were killed? How
can this child be protected at all
when water and air
are pervaded with poisons,
when there’s no food at all
or food that’s gone moldy? When
he has no diapers, no
vegetables? No parents?
And yet the bombs fall. The tents
flap piteously in the wind
that blows off the sea, and the child
cries, cries in his uncle’s arms
for everything he will never have.
Day 684
in memory of Anas Al-Sharif
Just months ago
he was reunited with his children,
after a long time gone: Sham,
his daughter, the older one; and
his baby son Salah. Still safe,
still — miraculously — alive.
He held them, danced joyously
with them in his arms. A brief
time together, and then never again.
Never again. In the letter he wrote,
to be published after the murder
he sensed would come, he entrusted them
to those who remain. Comfort them,
teach them. Help them
to grow in wisdom. In courage.
In love for their people. In hope.
Can the world become
for Sham and Salah
the sturdy, sheltering arms
of their father? Their father
the truth-teller. Their father, devoted
to life. Sham. Salah. Never again
to hear him singing to them
as they fall asleep. And they
so small. … Never to know
the answers to what
they’d have wanted to ask him.
Day 683
Whose child is this? Found
stumbling amid the rubble.
Bruises on his face, his arms,
his left hand bleeding. Otherwise
unfathomably intact. Asked
his name, he looks
hollow-eyed at the woman
kneeling in front of him. Asked
where his mother is, his father,
the child looks away. Looks down
at his bleeding fingers. The woman
opens her arms, picks him up,
carries him to the tent where her own
children wait. One of her sons
wipes the child’s bleeding hand
with his own shirt. A daughter
offers him a spoonful
of the thin soup she’s eating.
He’ll be your brother now,
their mother tells them, unless
we find someone from his family.
Her children smile, eagerly show him
the few toys they’ve
scavenged, happy to share
the nothing they possess.
Day 682
for Amna al-Mufti
She was carrying water
when she was killed.
An airstrike. What more
do we know about her?
We know her name. We imagine
her fingers tight around the handle
of the container. We know
she was walking.
How old could she have been?
A young girl is all
we’ve been told. Seven?
Nine? Was this something
she did every day? Did she offer
to go because someone else
couldn’t? A brother? Her father?
Was her father living? Had they
been displaced again and again?
Was she a child who loved
to sing? draw? run?
Whatever she cared for
was stopped still at that moment.
She was killed carrying water.
Was her family waiting?
Was water the single hope they had
to stay alive?
Day 681
The young medical student
is talking about his work. Studies
interrupted, courses stopped,
then started, then stopped again.
Still he does what he can.
Still he has learned
how to substitute one procedure
he can do for another
he can’t, one medication
he can find for another
that’s not allowed in. He has learned
how to practice medicine
when it’s impossible: how to operate
without anesthesia, how to sanitize
his instruments when there’s no
clean water. He pauses a moment
in the conversation, thinks
of his parents, his brothers
and sisters — all trapped,
as they’ve been for months,
under the rubble of their house.
(He alone escaped, having been
at the hospital when the house
was bombed.) For months
he’s wanted to dig them out,
give them a real burial.
To find a medicine for atrocious loss,
a surgery for a shattered history.
A functional IV line for horror.
Day 680
The children sit in a circle
naming the things they want to do
when the siege is over. Eat
a whole chocolate bar, a boy says:
everyone shouts in agreement.
A girl says she’d like to hear
her mother’s voice waking her up
for school. But it won’t
happen, she says almost inaudibly,
head bowed. It can’t happen.
My school was bombed and my mother
is dead. The children sit
in a circle, a circle of children
like circles everywhere: some
solemn, some squirming, some
sitting on their hands. Some
tugging at the clothes
of the child sitting next to them.
They sit in a circle so they all
can see each other. Count them.
How many will there be tomorrow?
Day 679
for Ahmed Muin
A man tunes his voice
to the pitch the drone makes,
sings a song of resistance. Others
join: a choir
of resistance claiming
the occupier’s drone
as theirs. As music. As something
they can use. Something
they can transform, imbue
with another life. The way children
make playgrounds from fallen
concrete: agility courses,
jumping from one collapsed wall
to another. Or birds who nest
in a captured, disabled tank,
raise their hatchlings there,
sheltered from brutal heat and shrapnel.
Day 678
for Shahd Abusalama
The house you were born in
has become a mass grave.
A continuous dirge. A funeral
without end. A crucible.
A solemn procession of loss.
Once there was laughter,
conversation through the night.
Now half of those
who filled these rooms
are buried beneath them,
and the others are left
to mourn. Rage. Weep. To dread
the next hour. To wrest the children
out of their fear.
To appease their starvation
with stories. To wait.