photo by Ali Hamad/APA
When the genocide began I started writing daily notes. The notes, many of them handwritten in various notebooks, were disconnected lines, images, stories I’d read or heard. Some of them evolved into poems, included in this collection; but it wasn’t until Day 167 that — having heard about a mother who was able to save one of her children but not the others, and a doctor who was saving the amputated limbs of wounded children, putting the limbs into boxes labeled with their names — I felt the urgency to document these tragedies in a whole poem every day, and that is what I will do until the genocide ends.
I intend to keep writing until the ceasefire is permanent — until Palestine is free.
Day 761
Ceasefire III, Day 27
Her name was the name
of a flower. Like a flower,
she blossomed, opened
her colorful petals
to the sun. Like a flower,
her season was brief.
She was a child. She was a child
who met every day with a group
of children who drew, sang,
learned to play the guitar,
talked to each other
and to the adults
about their fears, their losses,
the dreams they had for their lives.
She came every day
because there was no school.
She came to learn. To draw.
Her name was the name
of a flower that blooms
for just a few weeks
in early spring. What
can we say about her,
whose life was cut short last night
while she slept? Yesterday
she was drawing, she hugged
a friend who told her she didn’t need
to hug her so close, for such
a long time. She smiled, told
her friend it was because she
didn’t know when she would see her
again. A child. Her arms growing long,
like long stems.
Day 760
Ceasefire III, Day 26
Who will tell this child
that her sister is dead?
She thought the bombing
was over. She thought
there would be food to eat,
water to bathe in. She and her sister
lay in their tent
every night, curly heads
pressed together so no one
could tell whose hair was whose.
Her sister had gone to their uncle’s
tent. Her sister, four years older.
Her sister, her world.
Who will tell her
that, on her way to visit
their uncle, her sister
was killed in an airstrike?
It was only an hour away.
It was only an hour’s walk.
Her sister had promised
to bring her eggs. Eggs!
Who will tell her
her sister was killed
for a basket of eggs?
Day 759
Ceasefire III, Day 25
You pick up a stone,
place it on top
of another stone. Once
this was your home. Once
a four story house stood here.
Once there were kitchens, airy
rooms, balconies. Enough
for your family, your sister’s
family. Now there are only
rocks and rubble. Stone
upon stone, you build.
In a day you create a shelter.
In a second day you find
pieces of wood to fashion a roof.
You sit down with your three children
still alive, you set down a cloth
and call it a rug, you place
sticks across sticks and tell them,
This is our hearth, it will keep us
warm, it will cook our food.
Below you, under the rubble,
the bodies of your sister, her
family, your husband, your
six other children
lie crushed: flesh
turning to earth, exuding
its chemicals, minerals,
into the night. You name them.
You picture them sitting
around the table — made,
perhaps, from the wood
you’ve taken for your roof.
What remains will be transformed.
What remains will be put to use.
Day 758
Ceasefire III, Day 24
Will the soil be restored? Thousands
of olive trees blasted, bombed: no groves
remaining, only a single tree
surviving here and there. Will the earth
yield its abundance
again? Its lemons? Strawberries?
Will the plants
that had thrived for centuries
return, blossom, bear? Will you walk
again past rows of tomatoes,
picking them, tasting their sweetness?
You look out on acres of dust.
You remember your children
racing each other to the orange trees.
You remember their laughter, their
squabbles. Their small bare feet.
They will not be restored.
Though seasons
turn, though sunlight
awaken what life
remains deep under the dirt,
that laughter
will not come again, nor
their bright faces streaked with juice
from fresh-fallen fruit.
Day 757
Ceasefire III, Day 23
The child is waiting
for her hands
to grow back. She’s
six. Her brother
wants her to catch the balls
he throws. Her mother
could use her help
stirring the rice, when
there’s rice. She’s waiting
to be able to draw again,
to write the letters
she’d just been learning
to write. Every morning
she holds the stubs of her arms
to the sun, as though
they were plants the sun
might nourish. As though warmth
might encourage a thumb
to sprout. The joint of a finger.
Day 756
Ceasefire III, Day 22
The elderly man
is rebuilding his house.
It’s the house he was born in,
the house his father
was born in. His sons.
Its spacious rooms, its windows,
its shelves of books, ceramics.
Its paintings, hand-carved
furniture: all gone,
all mixed in the rubble.
Unidentifiable. So many
years. He has returned
from the south. He stands.
surveys what’s there. The October sun
illumines this remnant, that.
Some shards almost outlined
in golden light. He picks up
one stone. Sets it
elsewhere. Do you think,
his son is asking him, that you
can rebuild it like this, before they
destroy it again? The father
doesn’t reply. He presses a hand
gently across his son’s arm,
looks into his eyes. With
the other hand, picks up
a stone. Lays it
on top of the first.
Day 755
Ceasefire III, Day 21
They killed your brother
for telling your stories,
the stories he witnessed,
the stories he heard. They
came after him in his tent
in the night, they killed him
while he was sleeping.
They killed his friends.
They killed everyone in the tent.
Even the cat who was sleeping outside.
They destroyed the cameras.
They destroyed the phones.
Everything now is dust. Everything
now is blood, fragments of flesh.
Shards of plastic.
A hand. A strip of cloth.
Do they think they have pulverized
the stories? Do they think
the stories will not be told
and told again?
Do they think the stories
will not survive?
Day 754
Ceasefire III, Day 20
Your sons were the air you breathed,
your fixed stars, your harvest,
the rocks you stood on. Your sons,
five of them. Each of them martyred,
gone. Their wives gone too. You wake
at three in the morning, bathe
one grandchild, change another’s
diaper, go looking for food. Thirty-six
children, the children of your children.
All orphaned. All hungry. Some
injured. All grieving. Thirty-six
grandchildren living with you
on the rubble of their home,
their lives. And you, too,
grieving. Looking into their eyes,
seeing their fear, their pain,
their longing for their parents.
Now they are playing clapping games.
Now they are playing with string,
with small stuffed animals they’ve scavenged
from other fallen houses, from children
who have already died. Now you hear
one of your sons in the voice of his son.
Now you see two of their daughters,
cousins, sitting together, their hair
the color, the texture, of their fathers’ hair.
How close their fathers were, you think.
Day 753
Ceasefire III, Day 19
This is not my street.
My street was full of people
walking to work, to school, to meet friends
at cafés on the corners. My street
had fruit stands, vegetable stands:
pomegranates, oranges, lemons, zucchini.
My street had had houses on it
that had stood for generations. My street
had a playground: my friends’ voices
shouting, singing. Trees lined my street
on both sides: there were benches
under them. You could sit
in the shade, stand
beneath their broad limbs
in a rainstorm. On my street
my grandmother lived, my uncle.
My cousins, my older cousins.
I could look from my window
and see them move through their rooms
in the morning. Why now
are there only these rocks?
These slabs of concrete?
If we pull them up, will we find
my street, hidden under this rubble?
Will everything come back to life?
Day 752
Ceasefire III, Day 18
You cross paths with a young man
who was once your student.
He stops, stares at you for a moment,
as though wondering how many more years
than two have passed. As though wondering
whether you’re meeting in this life
or the next. Tentatively, he speaks
your name. You answer. You remember
his. A younger man, stronger, who sat
in the second row: you? You embrace.
You recount to each other, briefly, your litanies
of displacement. Of loss: your children.
Your papers, the theses you’d been reading.
Your library. Your house. The university.
You stand, facing each other. Not knowing
what more to say. Gone your once-vibrant
stride. Your clear voice. Your firm grasp.
Gone. Eroded by grief. By starvation.
And yet you are here. You nod at him,
he nods at you. Nothing can assure
you’ll survive one more day;
but for now, standing here together,
you can imagine a busy corner.
Intense conversations, professors
and students hurrying to the next class.