Day 303

(from a photograph)

The child is being carried out of the shelter —
that had been a school — by a young man.
A girl — maybe seven? — one arm
wrapped in a ribbon of gauze
the young man is still
holding the other end of, as though
he had been tending to her and then
had to run quickly.  Precipitously.
The arm wrapped in gauze
hangs from the girl’s
shoulder; her other arm
laid strangely across her chest, as though
she can’t move it on her own.
A blank look on her face.  Her pink
little t-shirt, her dark red
pants.  Brown socks.  I think of her
putting them on in the morning.
Someone brushing her thick curly hair.
The noise, the stench, the lines
for the toilet, lines for bread.
Who is dead now and who still living?
Is the man her father?  Her brother?
A medical worker?  A stranger?
And where is he taking her?  And what
can they do for her?

Day 302

The child couldn’t believe
his house was ruined, kept telling his father
Take me, take me back to see it.
At last his father took him.
There was the house, or what
remained of it:  slabs of concrete,
pieces of cloth, here and there
something they thought they recognized.
The child looked at the ground.
Remembered his mother, remembered
his sister, remembered that there
was the place where he’d sat
with a friend, playing some game.
He was silent.  He looked.  Held
his father’s hand. Said at last
I wish you had never brought me back here.

Day 301

Where that dust is, there was a garden.
You used to pass it every morning
on your way to buy bread, milk.
Flowers and vegetables, lemons and oranges.
You remember the fragrance, the way
you would pause, stand at the fence,
know the season by what was blooming
and what was waiting to bloom,
what was fallow and what was green.
Jasmine.  Roses.  You knew
whose garden it was; at times
she was there, she’d go inside the house
for a bag and fill it with what was growing.
There’s always more, she would say.
The earth keeps giving. Today you looked
at the dust, tried to find a stem, a piece
of a root. Wondered what had become
of the fruit trees, the rose bush, the woman.
Tried to think of the life in the soil underneath:
insects and worms preparing another season,
Soil teeming with life under the desolate air.

Day 300

The children had been playing on an open field,
still unspoiled enough for their game.
They were playing football, their voices
jubilant when the ball reached
their makeshift goal, the cheers
of those who watched on the sidelines
raucous, spirited.  Then the drones.
Then the bombing.  Then everything
went dark.  Then smoke, then blood, then
pieces of clothing, pieces of flesh.
There was silence, then wailing.  Then
names were called out.  Then a few
faint voices, answering.  More silence.
Then a girl who had been standing
and cheering saw the ball — unfathomably
intact — rolling away.  Rolling.
Ran toward it, picked it up, 
held it close to her body 
as though it could have been
her brother.

Day 299

Do you say
you will obliterate us?
I tell you the soil is alive,
even when you cannot see
what grows there.
Do you say
we are less than a wind
blowing miles out to sea?  I say
soon the wind will hurl its defiance
onto the land and bear away
your plans, your wickedness.
Do you pretend our children
do not have names?  I tell you
their names will outlast
the cities you build,
the lies you invent.

Day 298

Some morning years from now
when the air is clear
and young orange trees
are beginning to fruit in the groves
and children shout to each other
in the shade of the few older trees
that will have withstood this —
some morning years from now
when you hear, in the distance, 
a plane flying from one continent
to another, passing overhead,
and you don’t take cover or feel
that shiver of fear in your heart —
that morning, when you sit
outside your house, rocking
the youngest of those
born after — will you be ready
to tell the story?  Will you hesitate
for a moment over the page,
feel the presence of those
who fell along the way,
their voices calling to you to begin?

Day 297

My child, a year old today,
what can I promise you?
I can tell you the sky
is not always filled with dread,
with smoke, with terrible noises.
I can say there are trees
that bear fruit:  sweet apricots,
fragrant peaches.  I can say
there will be mornings
when you awaken
from unbroken sleep, walk out
barefoot onto grass
or sand or soil, feel
wetness and coolness
between your toes. 
There will be days
when you move from hour to hour
without fear, without tasting my fear
on your tongue.  I can say
there will be music
and running, sunlight
on your back, and the rhythm
of the sea will accompany your days
more constantly than the rhythm
of drones and horror.

Day 296

The children are playing inside the shelter
when the bombing happens.  Suddenly
everything goes dark, there is
screaming, parents
frantically searching — Call to me,
little one, let me know
you’re here.  I will come
and find you.  With
my broken hands I
will lift you, with my broken legs
I will run with you, 
with my blinded eyes,
my deafened ears:
I will see you
wherever you are,
I will hear you
however faint your cry

Day 295

(for Aseel)

What will you do, Nora asks you,
when this is over?  You say
you’ll return to your home,
your street.  You’ll clean up
the rubble.  You’ll do it
with friends, neighbors.
I can picture you now:  mops, tools
in everyone’s hands.  Everyone chatting,
singing.  The kids with music
blasting from their phones, dancing.
I can see someone bringing platters
of food, pitchers of water.  I can see
the wall of the first house standing.
Then the second.  Then the whole street
of houses, the children — the ones
too young even to remember what
it was like before — chasing each other
up the new stairs, calling to their parents
from the open windows. I can hear the parents
talking quietly to each other, sitting outdoors
in the still night after the children
have gone to bed.  I can see one woman —
you? — digging in fresh soil under the moon, alone,
planting something green and young.
Naming, as you place it tenderly
in the ground, those you have lost.  Your
cousins. Refaat. Others. Whispering
See, we are here.  We have come through.

Day 294

You send your child to the market
because he’s hungry
and you have no food for him.
Later you hear an explosion:
the market has been bombed.
You find him, after a grueling search,
at the field hospital:
alive, though he will
lose a leg.  You send your child
anywhere, knowing
he may come home
or not.  Knowing
every goodbye is a last goodbye.
And if you’d had food.  And if
you lived where there was a kitchen.
And if you could tell him 
when this will end, when
his hunger will be sated, when
what’s left of his leg
after the surgery
will stop hurting.  When
there will be medicine
to stop the pain. And if
this were an ordinary time
and you could be angry with him
for staying away too long, for
stopping to have a long game of catch
with friends, for going back
to the market and asking
for more because after
all that he was still
hungry….